Ryan. Managing Director. 

So he has a fairly big monitor, which means from where I sit, I generally only see the top third of his head. Well, not strictly true. If he's sitting very low, I actually only see the hat. The man is literally a giant maroon floating head.

When he concentrates, it gets very frowny and intense and he has this way of looking at the screen to where I genuinely can't tell if he's really really confused or just trying to use his retinas to BURN ALL THE PIXELS EVER.

Suspect the second far above the first. Nothing seems to genuinely confuse him because he's so massively bright. As in, one of those people it's just a pleasure to hear think out loud. So, for the less-fortunate among us, you know, those of us whose synapses don't fire at 40,000 miles per hour, we can but derive pleasure from simpler things. Like watching him turn floating beetroot red when he reads this. I'm secretly aiming for face-matching-hat shade, but that's a little out of my control.

Further observations:

  • Appears to operate on a typing-intensity directly proportional to levels of work intensity basis. Watching him multi-task? Actually on its way to becoming an official form of entertainment. Not that I'm the world's most-delicate petal, but this man is something else. The more wound-up he gets, the more it is literally bash bash BASH BASH BASH. The enter key at the end generally gets the most enthusiasm.
  • Has a terrible time tolerating idiots. Just doesn't know how to handle them. Want to get the man properly, properly wound up? Find a phone, call him and when he picks up, quickly find a cretin to take the reigns.
  • Came in without his hat on the other day. I LITERALLY LOST FAITH IN REALITY. Ryan, when you read this, stop testing my faith. You're the hat man. You wear the hat. Focus on your head and quit trying mine by randomly sauntering in one day with an uncovered head. It scares us. You've been warned.

    Stay tuned, people. I'll be ripping Anthony apart, next.

    twitter.com/rebeccacukier

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